BUSY

I am so busy that my head hurts.

I hate that sometimes everything in life can all just seem so overwhelming and like it's all piling up on you all at the same time. Even though I know that if only I can just push through and conquer the work and stress that everything will be better, all I really want to do right now is curl up in a ball and eat some ice cream. Good thing I don't have any ice cream, otherwise I might never get anything done. Plus I have a hard time digesting dairy so ice cream just never works out well.

School has been crazy lately, from bleeding students to having to film my lessons as part of an assessment on my teaching abilities. I just haven't really had time to just relax. And I mean really relax, like not worrying about everything I have to do constantly. I wouldn't be so stressed about school if it wasn't for this assessment thing anyways. I really like teaching, I just want to be able to do it and not write fifteen essays about every tiny detail that anyone who has ever philosophized about education has thought about. It's kind of ridiculous how much they expect, especially with the filming, the classroom climate is not going to be the same as normal and neither will my or my students' behavior. What do they want from me!?

On a good note, I conquered TWO MILES! Unfortunately I also discovered that my lungs/vocal chords do not allow me to run the same outside as they do inside. So now that I can do 2 miles on the treadmill, I'm going to try running outside more because I can't run a 5k on a treadmill. I hate that running outside makes me almost blackout right now :( My Dad thinks that maybe I should go back to the lung doctor, or whatever they're called, so that I can get re-tested for asthma. Maybe I do need an inhaler and it's not just my vocal chords getting stressed out. Also running outside in the autumn weather/chilly air really hurts. It pretty much feels like someone is stabbing my lungs whenever I breathe in. I really hope I don't have asthma.

Sorry this post was really disjointed and probably didn't make any sense. I'll try to be a better blogger next time.